by Matt Minucci

My bookies are thrilled I took the lead over Big Dan.

Welcome ba-aack, welcome ba-aack, welcome baaaa-aaack! I'm back, baby! After taking it on the chin last week, I stormed back to take the lead away from Big Dan. Of course, I didn't exactly have a steller week, going just 7-6 - thought I would like to point out, I predicted the Charger-Giants game would be Chargers 21, Giants 20. The actually score? Chargers 21, Giants 20. Nailed it. Thank you. Of course, I was brutally wrong on 6 of the games. Eh, what can you do?

Big Dan, on the other hand, correctly called the Tampa Bay Bucs shocking upset win over the Green Bay Packers - however, little else went right for Big D, as he tanked Week 9, going 4-9.

So, after 9 weeks, the standings are:

Me             72-56-1

Big Dan      71-57-1

I'm up by one game. One lousy freakin' game. Heading into week 10, I am desperately trying to hold onto my slim lead, while Big Dan....well....Big Dan doesn't handle losing so well. After going 4-9 and dropping a game behind me, Big Dan has bowed out of our contest for Week 10. He 'claims' he's gotta go to Los Angeles for a "mock trial tournament" - which we all know is code for "I got my butt whipped and I'm gonna go cry about it."

Big Dan's says 'hello' to me before he fled to L.A.

So, while the Big D-man is licking his wounds, he'll be out of action in Week 10. But the show must go on, yessir. And since I am here, making my Week 10 picks, I needed someone to fill in for Big Dan - just for a week. Have no fear, Big Dan Fans - I know you're out there, you sad, lonely souls. He'll be back in action for Week 11. But for this week, I needed to find someone whose sports knowledge rivaled Big Dan's - someone that was every bit his equal in his spot on, riveting, NFL analysis. Sadly, I couldn't do it. But I did get the next best thing - My 5 year old daughter, Hannah!

take a bow, kiddo!

Anyway, Hannah will be making the Week 10 picks in place of Big Dan - but her picks will count in the standings for Big Dan's picks, because, really, it's essentially the same thing.

So, without further ado, let's get right into the Week 10 games:

THURSDAY NIGHT

Wow, Chicago at 4-4 really looks like a team that's, I dunno...0-8. Matt Forte plods along behind a suspect o-line and Jay Cutler makes terrible decisions - and their offense is the strength of this team. Their defense has been decimated by injuries and just got shredded by Kurt Warner for 5 TDs last week. Meanwhile the 3-5 49ers are back to being everyone's darlings, thanks to some nice play by re-invigorated young QB Alex Smith and rookie WR Michael Crabtree - not to mention pro-bowl TE Vernon Davis. But I'm not buying it yet. I know the game's in San Fran...but I'm just not ready to bury the Bears for 2009 at this point. I think they have a little fight in 'em. This game might devolve into a shootout, because the Bears D really isn't that good...but I think they pull out the win, 27-24. I'm not really basing this on anything more than a gut feeling that everyone else in the world is wrong. So..uh...good luck with that. Hannah, what do you think?

Hannah: Uhm, San Francisco 49ers, because I think they're really good.

Me: Why is that?

Hannah: I think they practiced and they got very good.

The Bears defense is looking a little 'brokeback' lately.

SUNDAY

Carolina has improved their play over the last few weeks, but at 3-5, they're probably not going anywhere this year. Atlanta, meanwhile, hasn't played all that well, but still sit at 5-3 and are in the middle of the playoff/wild card race. A loss here would be particularly devastating to the Falcons and I don't see them letting this game get away from them. There's been news late in the week that Pathers superb RB D'Angelo Williams might miss this game due to a sore left knee. If that's the case, I think the Falcons blow out the Panthers. For now, let's assume the banged up Williams plays, and I say the Falcons win a close one in Carolina, 20-17. Whaddya say, little miss Hannah?

Hannah: the Carolina Panthers because they've won alot i guess.

Will the Falcon's season explode in their face with a loss to the Panthers?

JACKSONVILLE (+7) over NEW YORK JETS

Call me crazy, but I don't think the Jaguars are that bad. They're not all that good either - but then again, neither are the Jets. A 4-4 Jags teams in NY to play a 4-4 Jets team. Not exactly Colts-Patriots, y'know. I really don't know who to pick, but I do think the Jets aren't even close to a touch-down better than Jacksonville. So...I'm going with a Jet win, but a Jaguar cover. Take the points and watch the J-E-T-S...and the Sanchise...win a squeakers, 17-13. Hannah?

Hannah: New York Jets! Because they're totally gonna win

Me: why?

Hannah: Because they're totally gonna win, stupid!

Me: What's gonna happen if you call me stupid again?

Hannah: I'm gonna get a spankin'.

Boy the Jets sure seem...eager.

DENVER (-4) over WASHINGTON

Denver comes into this game at 6-2 after getting trounced by the Steelers last week, and everyone is claiming the Bronco D got exposed and they're gonna slump, blah blah blah. I don't buy it. First of all, even if it's true, the Redskins aren't able to exploit anything. They stink. Second of all, I think it's far more likely that an angry Bronco team shows up in DC and kicks the holy hell out of a miserable 2-6 Redskin team. Clinton Portis is out for this game with a concussion - but frankly, playing for Dan Snyder is enough to give anyone a major headache. So the Redskins will be even further depleted. I expect the Broncos to roll, easily, 27-10. Hanny?

 Hannah: The Denver Broncos because Homer Simpson owns them.

Somehow, I can see this same thing happening to Jim Zorn.

CINCINNATI (+7) over PITTSBURGH

I must be crazy. First of all, I've picked the road team to win or cover in every single game so far. That's not gonna happen. Second, I'm sticking with that trend and picking the Bengals, to not only cover on the road in Pittsburgh, but to SWEEP the Steelers. Yeah, no way. Let's amend that slightly. First off, I do believe in the Bengals. They are a legit playoff contender. I also think the Steelers will be due for a bit of a let-down after defeating the Broncos on the road last week. But...I just can't see the Steelers losing this game at home. Neither do I see them covering. So let's take the Bengals and the points, and hope for a 23-21 Steerler win. Hannah?

Hannah: I think the Steelers because you said them first.

Guy Smiley's day job.

TENNESSEE (-7) over BUFFALO

Well, I finally decided to take a home-favorite, and it's the 2-6 Titans, who square off against the equally putrid 3-5 Bills. I'm not sure how in the hell a 2-6 team - whoever they are - is deserving of a 7 point spread, but I figured, "what the hell." I'm throwing caution to the wind here, and hoping Chris Johnson will absolutely destroy the already utterly incompetent Bill rushing D, and that will prove to the be the difference. Titans roll 21-10. What do you say little girl? Oh, wait, I thought Big Dan was still calling the games. I mean, what do you say, Hannah?

Hannah: Buffalo Bills. Because i think they're very good.

Me: why?

Hannah: I need some time to think about that.

This is another absurd spread, and yet again, I'm picking the under .500 home team to cover a huge margin against an even worse road dog. I'm mainly deciding on Miami because I think they might be the best 3-5 team in the league - which really isn't saying much. But I do think they can pull off a cover here. Tampa has been playing better, this is true - and I think they might even have something in rookie QB Josh Freeman and rookie WR/return man Sammie Stroughter...but I like Miami's D in this game. And I like them to run that freaky wildcat well against a porous Buccaneer defense. Let's say, Miami pulls off the surprising cover, 33-20. Hannah girl?

Hannah: Dolphins  because they were named by somebody who really wanted them to win. I think Dolphin is a real pretty name for a team. Why are all football players boys? Can't girls play football too.

Me: (afraid to say anything.)

Just another party in South Florida...

DETROIT (+17) over MINNESOTA

Oh come on! I'm losing this game. I know it. This is a total Vegas-bookie-scam game. Look, there is no way the Vikings are losing this game. And in all likelihood, they're going to win it big...like 38-17 big. And I could pick that and probably sleep like a baby at night. But 17 points is sooooooo tempting. Anything can happen in the NFL. Stafford could hit Calvin Johnson for a couple of long TD plays. Brett Favre could revert to his pre-Viking form and throw a pick-6 and suddenly, the Vikes only win 38-24. And where's your 17 point cover now? In the toilet with the rest of your hopes and dreams. So, even though I know it's probably a mistake, I'm taking the Lions on the road, in Minnesota, getting 17 points, God help me. Vikings win big...but not that big: 41-27. Hannah dear?

Hannah: The vikings are gonna win. I just know it. My mind told me.

Me: What did it say?

Hannah: Say the Minnesotas because they're gonna win. My mind knows everything and it tells me. Sometimes it wants to surprise me.

It's gonna be smooth sailin' for the Vikes v. Detroit.

NEW ORLEANS (+14) over ST. LOUIS

Ok, this time I'm taking the favorite and giving the points. And I'm doing it on the road. But really, I think I might take the Saints if this game had a 20 point spread. I don't see the Rams even being close to competitive in this game. The Saints have probably the best team in the NFC and perhaps the best team in NFL. The Rams...don't. Drew Brees will eat the Rams secondary alive early, before they call off the dogs and just pound the football into the ground with Pierre Thomas. The Rams only hope comes from Steven Jackson, who I think could have a good game vs. the Saints run D. It won't matter. This is another 40-point blowout by the Saints. Don't worry about the two-TD spread and take the Saints in cake-walk, 44-7. Whaddya say Hannah?

Hannah: The New Orleans Saints because they're from New Orleans.

Me: What does that have to do with them winning?

Hannah: Because it makes them tough.

Me: Why?

Hannah: Because I heard Mommy tell you that's where Uncle Steve caught that disease from that girl. So you hafta be tough to live there.

Me: (preparing to hang myself.)

It's no myth...the Saints are good.

KANSAS CITY (+1.5) over OAKLAND

Why? Why must I even pick this game? Why must they even play this game? The 1-7 Chiefs vs. the 2-6 Raiders should be a game people don't even have to pay for to go see. I mean, why would you pay for it? Sadly, many die-hard Raider fans in the Bay area WILL pay for this game, and Al Davis' evil continues for another week. As far as the game goes, both teams are terrible, but somehow the Raiders have managed to earn 1 more win than the Chiefs. I'm not exactly sure how. I'm not even sure how both these teams have been able to combine for 3 wins. But since I have to pick this game...I'll take the points - all 1.5 of them. I think the Chiefs play a little better this week now that they've released malcontent RB Larry Johnson. Addition by subtraction let's call it. Chiefs win, 13-10. Hannah?

Hannah: Can we stop now. Tom and Jerry is on.

Me: Just a few more.

Hannah: Oakland Raiders because I think they're really good players. 

A Raider fan takes time out to do a little Christmas shopping.

ARIZONA (-8.5) over SEATTLE

I'm not a big fan of this game, either. Mainly because the Cards have been so Jekyll & Hyde this year. I just don't trust them. Though, they're coming off a huge shellacking of the Bears last week - and Kurt Warner is fresh off a 5 TD passing game. Eh, the Cards should probably cover. They're 5-3, playing at home, and are loads better than the 3-5 Seahawks. I think Matt Hasselback can be a dangerous QB, especially on the turf in 'Zona, but the Cards are just an all around dangerous offense. Let's go with the Cards covering at home, 34-21. Han?

Hannah: Cardinals 'cause they're one of your favorite teams.

Me: No they're not.

Hannah: Yes they are. We cheered for them once.

Me: Oh. That's just because I was gambling on them that week. (I will now shoot myself.)

Kurt reacts to Brenda's new makeover.

PHILADELPHIA (+2) over SAN DIEGO

In a battle of two 5-3 teams, I think this is a gift game, I really do. It might be NFC East bias, but I think the Eagles are better than the Chargers. Like, A LOT better. Even if Brian Westbrook can't go - or just isn't effective - rookie LeSean McCoy has really picked up the slack. And McNabb finally has an interesting - and good - cadre of receivers in DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin and TE Brent Celek. Though they lost a tough one to Dallas - in Philly - last week, I think the Eagles bounce back on the road this week. Besides, the Chargers are really a team on the decline, to me. I mean, their running game is horrid. LT isn't even a shadow of his former self. This forces the Chargers to rely on a 1-dimensional passing offense that I think the Philly D will eagerly tee off on with a ton of blitzing, early and often, all day. Take the Eagles and the points, Philly wins it 26-17. Hanny?

Hannah: San Diego

Me: Why?

Hannah: I don't know. because they're gonna win. I just know it.

Eagles fans won't be blue come Sunday.

DALLAS (-3) over GREEN BAY

I'm never a fan of taking a road favorite in Green Bay. Lambeau is never a friendly place to play, and always tough to win at. However, the Pack have slipped to 4-4 and Dallas is cruising after a win IN Philly - another tough place to play - to move to 6-2 atop the NFC East. If I'm ever going to start believing in the 'Boys (and I know I'm dooming them with this comment), now is the time to start. I believe in Tony Romo, Miles Austin and friends. I think Dallas rolls into the frozen tundra and wallops the Pack and QB Aaron Rodgers - who has a bad habit of taking bad sacks all the time. Cowboys 27 Green Bay 21. Whaddya say, Hannah Marie?

Hannah: Dallas Cowboys! Because you're a Cowboy fan, daddy.

Me: Yes I am!

"Yeah, my ex was hung like a tadpole too."

NEW ENGLAND (+3) over INDIANAPOLIS

The game of the week! Wow, what a matchup. 6-2 New England heads into Indy to face the undefeated, 8-0 Colts. Not only is this a battle of titans, but it could very well be a preview of the AFC Championship Game. Brady v Manning; Moss and Welker v Wayne and Clark. As TO would say, "Getcha popcorn ready!" But as for picking this game, that's really a near impossible task. This should be a wild, fairly high scoring affair - the team that scores last is probably going to win. I'm thinking that New England and Bill Beli-cheat find a way to win this game. Yes, I know it's on the road. And honestly, I think the Colts are better. In fact, if it's actually a playoff game - or better yet - the AFC Championship Game? I'm picking the Colts. But in this regular season affair, when the Colts are already 8-0...I think they're ripe to get picked off. It wouldn't shock me to see the Colts finish 15-1 and this game be their one loss. So, let's go with Patriots 35, Colts 34 in a wild one in Indy. Hannah?

Hannah: New Englad Patriots because i think they're really good baseball players.

Me: They're playing football though

Hannah: Oh, then I think they're really good footballers.

Today's picks have been brought to by the letter "P". For Peyton.

MONDAY NIGHT

Good God does Cleveland blow. What an anti-climactic Monday night game, coming on the heels of a monster Sunday nighter. Is anyone outside of Maryland and Ohio even going to watch this game? The 4-4 Ravens need this win to keep their playoff hopes alive, while the Browns are a team in complete disarray. The entire world seems to have turned on embattled Browns head coach Eric Mangini right now - and perhaps that, in part, prompted him to switch QBs, from Derek Anderson to Brady Quinn. Well, that and the fact that Anderson was a complete mess. It won't matter. Brady Quinn, Dr. Quinn, it just won't matter. The Ravens are going to roll all over this sad excuse for a Browns team. Expect an easy cover despite the spread. Ravens roll 23-3. Hannah, what do you say?

Hannah: Okay. the Cleveland Browns because i think the Cleveland Brown show is funny.

Me: You're too young to watch that show. Hannah.

Hannah: But I saw it.

Me: Who let's you watch that?

Hannah: Mommy let me watch it. 

Katie: It's ok there wasn't anything too bad in it.

Hannah: except the part where they killed the dog.

Pretty much how Browns fans feel right now.

And these have been the Week 10 picks! Since my daughter helped me with these picks, we'll be exiting with a different sort of Cheerleader this week: