Just thought I'd ask that question. Really this is an article about Simona Halep. Ok that's not true. But I will wait while you all google 'Simona Halep.' That was fun, huh?
Where'd all my money go? Oh that's right...a 11,000 sq. ft. TV.
Ok, onto a much more serious topic. Is Jerry Jones out of money? Now, let me be clear here. When I say, "out of money," I don't mean out of money like when you don't have the $4.35 for a non-fat, sugar-free venti mochafrappachino from Starbucks and have to settle for a free coffee from the breakroom. I mean, Jerry still most assurredly sleeps on hundreds of millions of dollars in petty cash, surrounded by brazilian supermodels that all look like Alessandra Ambrosio. I'll wait again. Back from googling?
Say it ain't so Jerry. Don't make me go to Dan Snyder's house. He's oily.
Ok. Moving on. I just mean, he's not...you know....boss rich. Filthy rich. Let's just say the dude seems to be tightening his belt. Why do I think this? Well, the evidence is just too big to be ignored. First, let's remember that the new Cowboy Stadium cost Jerry a staggering 1.15 BILLION dollars. I'm sure Jones counted on an extremely lucrative 'naming rights' contract to offset part of the cost of the new stadium. But the downswing of the economy combined with his steadfast refusal to lower his asking price has led to the Cowboys franchise going into 2009 without a sponser for the new jewel of Texas. So, for now, it's going to simply be called Cowboys Stadium. While that's nice, it still represents money that is no longer in Jones' once deep pockets.
There is also the unrestrained spending on the stadium itself, followed almost immediately by the suddenly frugal management of the roster. For example, Jerry Jones demanded that Cowboys stadium be home to the largest flat screen HDTV EVER BUILT! And it is. This mutha is 160' x 70', 11,000 square feet and cost 35 million dollars. Which, by the way, is more that the entire cost of the original Texas stadium. Remember when you got really drunk on that case of Arrogant Bastard Ale and decided 'to hell with what the wife says, I'm splurging on my TV!', then went and bought that 63" flat screen beauty from the guy on the corner? Yeah. You can fit 750 of those in Jerry's TV.
pictured above: Not my TV.
Finally, the Cowboys offseason moves have been downright peculiar. First of all, we all know DeMarcus Ware wants to be the highest-paid defensive player. And that means besting the Snyder-insane contract Albert Haynesworth got - $41 million guaranteed over seven years, which includes $32 million in the first 13 months of the deal. Right now, Jones hasn't committed a dime to Ware and talks are dragging on. Add to that, this offseason, the 'Boys have let go Terrell Owens which saved Jones around $5 million, released Greg Ellis ($3 million saved), released Roy Williams (DB), Tank Johnson and traded Anthony Henry. All high priced vets who were let go to make room for younger, less expensive alternatives. This might be the Texans way, but it's not the Cowboy way. Not even close.
Jerry Jones new job: Dancing with Urkel for chump change at Six Flags. More flags, more fun!!!!
So what does all this mean? Well, it could mean nothing. To counter-point myself: TO was a cancer, Ellis was old and slow. Tank was over-rated, Roy Williams begged to be released and Henry was 36 and traded for Jon Kitna, who wasn't exactly cheap for a backup QB. But when you consider that Jones purposefully traded out of the 2nd round during the 09 draft, to get a 3rd round pick, where the players are traditionally signed to much cheaper deals than 1st or 2nd rounders - and also refused to trade up into the first round because he didn't want to risk high end money on a first round risk - and remember we're talking about the same guy that once drafted Quincy Carter in the second round and David LaFleur in the first, we see startling and sudden financial concerns from a guy that never seemed to give a cowflop about it in the past. Perhaps this is all nothing. Perhaps Jones is going to prove smarter than all of us - or at least me. But perhaps Jones is losing money faster than Susan Boyle's losing minutes off her 15. And if so, it's going to mean some very frustrating years for us Cowboy fans.
